Harry Potter And The Cheap Rock
by shawarshmelo
Summary: Have you ever wanted to read a story that makes since? Well, this one is not for you.


It was Halloween Night and everything was dark and jolly. Children were running through the streets high on caffeine, with parents being pulled along resenting the decision not to use protection.

The Potter 'not so secret' secret located household was getting ready to make their journey around the neighborhood, T-Ping the people they hated most houses'.

One Harry James Potter was being dressed into a snake costume, 'because they were all out of cats and dogs'.

Lily Evans Potter was trying to keep the Bogart still while walking down the stairs and James Orion Potter manned the door with a candy shotgun.

Old Professor Dumbledore sat in the living room eating some Lemon Drops he found laying around on the ground.

Everything was going fine until a loud knock was heard through the door, to loud for a child or teen should be capable of doing.

James slowly made his way to the door loaded candy gun in hand.

Behind it stood a man with long flip-y black hair, a rainbow colored cloak, and a white hockey mask, "Hello, James."

"Um, hi."

After ten minutes of staring, the man started singing, "Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat, if you don't, I don't care I will just...KILL YOU, Avada Kedavra!"

The Useless Curse hit James.

He being very effected by the loud noise with his hearing problem, fell down and started having a seizure on the floor.

His ears were bleeding from the torture and many things got knocked down around his still flailing body, made the man feel sorry.

So he muttered the real curse quietly,"Abracadabra."

James died painfully.

Finally figuring out that he should see what the commotion is, Dumbledore walks into the room.

When he sees his passed favorite student and ex-lover standing suspicious over James he starts to panic.

Thinking Tom is after his lazy ass to get revenge after leaving him, Dumbledore snaps his fingers in an Z-formation and says, "Like, no way Riddle. No way you're getting your fingers on this fine package again," and flashes out leaving a mushroom cloud in his spot.

Voldemort screams, making Lily trip and Harry cry.

Quickly, Tom turns to them, enraged.

"Lily, you have defied me for the last time," He said cruelly.

"I just fucking fell down the stairs," She shouts from the floor. "I mean what's with you Dark Lords always getting into peoples businesses."

Tom was taken back her words," I ha-."

"And you just killed my husband for no reason at all, other than whipping your so 'called supporters' asses! That's not Dark Lord-ish, that's bad sportsmanship!"

He was afraid now, " but-."

Lily starts standing up, "But no, you need to cool down! Just because your mom was a prostitute, your daddy was smart enough to leave her, and you were left in an orphanage does not mean you can make everyone else's lives miserable! That's not cold or dark! Now I'm going to have to raise my boy Harry alone! Do you know how hard it is to be a single mother! I don't, but I do know it's harder than two people raising a child!"

Tom started feeling like a jerk. How could he be so evil and destroy this wonderful woman's life? That's simply barbaric! No one should live like that!

"I just wanted to kill Dumbledore," He whispered.

Lily sighed, "Don't we all."

"Wait, you hate Dumbledore too," Tom says shocked.

"Of course, who does. After he tried to convince James to join his 'Jr. Glee Club' he took the top number 1 on my resentment list," She says scowling.

"I thought I was the only one with a grudge match with him."

"No, we have a reason to hate him."

"Like his constant 'for the greater good angle'," Tom injected.

"Yeah! And his scheming behind people's backs."

"I thought I only noticed that."

Lily shakes her head sadly.

"Well I guess that I won't be able to do that now," Tom pouts, his head low in shame.

Lily tilts her head, "Why not?"

Tom lifts his head up, "Because you're going to bring me to justice, right?"

Lily shakes her head amused, " What justice? Besides, I have a far grander idea."


End file.
